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Interview: Beware of Darkness

Los Angeles Musician, Beware of Darkness, is on an uncanny human journey that aids in providing both wisdom and a sense of lightness that overcomes his fans with joy. I caught up with Kyle for an in-depth conversation about spiritual practices that have aided in him finding peace within, growing and shifting perspectives through the ever-changing tide of social media, the release of “Bloodlines” and more.

Congrats on the upcoming release of your new single, “Bloodlines”‘. Tell us about the message that you intended to portray throughout the new track.

It’s just a simple and fun song about sticking together with someone you care about, whether that’s a friend, family member, loved one, or even yourself. There are some subtle undertones that humans and civilization are destroying the planet and if we’re going to change anything we need to rethink capitalization and raise human consciousness, but other than that it’s a cute song to play at family barbecues.

Though a broad question, what have you learned about yourself and what skills have you developed through working in the music industry.

I think that most unexpected and profound thing I’ve learned from the hardships, let downs, pain, devastations, collapse, emotional abuse, and violent uncertainty of the music industry is that I am spiritual being. All these emotions and energies had to be dealt with in some way, and I was lucky enough to know my body couldn’t handle drinking or drugs so all these uncomfortable situations and “failures” in the music industry led me down a spiritual path of meditation, Zen and Buddhism, yoga, and plant therapy. Thank you for asking this, because it’s the first time I’ve put these two things together. It’s almost like all the pain alchemized and became purpose. I’m now seeing a spiritual practice as a wild and unexpected fruit borne of songwriting. Working in the music industry has been a master class in how to listen to yourself and how to handle yourself when everything is falling apart and everyone is selling you a different way forward. I think it’s also taught me how to be resilient, how to have grit, how to be smile in the face of madness, how to deal with change, trust your gut, and especially how to handle uncertainty. I’ve also dealt with just the most ridiculous stunningly absurd bullshit, which has also been a blessing, because it’s helped me remain a calm frivolity in the day to days of life. 

Photo Credit: Scott Schumaker

Showcasing the human in you, what is a challenging thought that you recently had and were able to overcome over time? 

The most challenging thought I’ve ever faced is one that simply says, “Kill yourself”. It doesn’t scream or shout, it just appears there with the same banal tone as someone asking “Can you pass the butter knife?” It was present with blaring frequency that past 2-3 years of my life, every day, often multiple times a day. It was the first thought when I woke up, last when I went to sleep. It appeared as I was pouring coffee, between chattarangas in yoga class, during sex, subconsciously in every lyric I wrote, and it slipped between every heartbeat, became of part of me and it wrecked me. It added so much more weight to my already present depression and made it life unbearable. That one single thought, I’d compound with guilt, shame, fear, anger, until it became this daily depression tornado of death,  and I didn’t know what to do with it. Thank god, this year I found therapy, anti-depressants, mindfulness meditation, and ayahuasca, which have all help me sit with that thought, get to the actual root of the thought and problem, and now if and when it comes, I can almost befriend it. Now when it comes, I recognize it is only a thought, and I don’t need to label it good or bad, or do anything with it really. I found that when I gave it space, and asked simple questions like, “Who are you? Do I have any control over you? Why are you here?” Its power and grip over my life loosens, and now it barely comes and when it does I treat it like an old friend, and ask, “What can you teach me today? Why are you here?”

What is your perception on the digital world that we live in and social media culture?

I have a lot of feelings and opinions on it. I understand how great social media can be if you are capable of mindfully using it in a healthy way, but I also understand how damaging it can be and how it can wreck your moods or life. I think you have to be very, very, awake and aware to use it in a positive way.

First off, realize that companies build these apps to be as addictive as possible to keep us logged in 24/7. It’s as if we were all handed these 24/7 casinos in our pockets, developers spend billions of dollars on studying how the human brain works to make them as enticing and addictive as possible, finding out what sets off our dopamine receptors in the quickest possible way, while making it so easy and as immediately satisfying for you to gamble all the time, and they smile and say, “Go ahead, just play one hand.” And you, you’re a nun who’s never stepped inside a casino and has never heard of gambling addiction. How do you win? This is what I don’t think most people understand yet. I am aghast when I see small children glued to devices. The CEOs of some of the biggest tech companies have recently come out saying, “We don’t give these devices to our kids because we realize the detrimental effect they have.” You have a classic case of the dealer selling drugs but not using.

We don’t need access to ANYTHING 24/7, and we don’t need Facebook on all 6 devices we own, so I think self-imposed limits and restrictions is key. I also think social media is a mirror. It shows you exactly who you are. I do like that part. If scrolling through and seeing someone else’s “happiness” makes you feel bad about yourself, you now know you have self esteem issues to work on. You can blame social media for wrecking the world or you can take responsibility for yourself, how it makes you feel, and change your habits. Instagram doesn’t care if it makes you feel terrible about your life or gives you low self esteem no matter how many hours you give it, or how many followers you have. Self-awareness is key. Be honest with yourself and how it makes you truly feel, then adjust. Unfollow anyone who doesn’t bring you joy. I also think a lot of social media is theatre. It’s people showing the world who they want to be, instead of who they actually are, and I don’t think that’s healthy.

Years ago, I was asked to played a beauty launch at what was rumored to be David Lynch’s mansion. There were around a 100 people there, and every single room had a photo booth in it. No one talked to each other, everyone looked sullen, and they’d walk into a room to take a content photo, and when the camera was up they’d put up the “I’m having the time of my life with all my friends” face, and when the photo was done they went back to being lifeless drones, and would repeat that throughout the night. I thought, oh my god, it’s all smoke and mirrors. It’s all bullshit. Social media is about sacrificing real experience you can give the illusion to a stranger of an experience. 

I think of the girl in the Midwest who looks up to these “influencers.” She doesn’t see the makeup, professional cameras and lightening, touch up and edits, and the overall isolation in the room. She just sees someone having fun and will probably compare how lame her life with how glamorous their lives are. And it’s all bullshit.

For years, I was addicted to social media.  I let it wreck my moods, ruin my self worth, and hurt me. I was on it all the time, thinking it mattered. I hated it, and I’d use it and feel terrible about myself. It wasn’t until an ayahuasca journey where I truly saw how it made me feel, and was able to have the clarity to become free of the addiction, and now it’s something I can enjoy. I took immediate change and put all my social media on an iPad that never leaves the house and I’ve never been happier. 

Photo Credit: Nick Smalls

No career path or amount of followers negates the fact that you are a human being that has feelings. Tell us about some parts of you beyond being a musician that you take pride in. 

I love reading books. This year I started reading through Don DeLillo’s books. Mao II was spectacular. I’m now pouring through Tom Robbins entire collection. A friend recommended Still Life with Woodpecker and it floored me. I’ve never read anything like it.

I am a diehard Nintendo and video game fan. I love been taken to other worlds and living inside their stories for a while. Some of my favorite games are Breath of The Wild, Sonic Adventure 2, Ocarina of Time, Fire Emblem Awakening, Skyrim: Elder Scrolls.

When the band was falling apart in 2016 I clumsily started a daily yoga practice, because it was the only thing that reduced my depression and anxiety at the time. I’d show not knowing how to do any of the poses, not doing anything right, but kept at it, and over the past 3 years, yoga has blossomed into one my life’s passions. I did a 200 RYT teacher training and became a certified teacher. To this day it’s so much more than a physical practice but has become a way of life for me.

As you are exposed to tons of stimulus, how do you proactively take care of your mental and emotional health when you’re out on the road?

Well the short story is I didn’t. I got high. I got depressed and suicidal. I broke down. I developed such an uncontrollable anger problem that my own band and crew were afraid of me, afraid to go near me or confront me. When we toured with the Smashing Pumpkins I took so much anger on stage, their tour manager forcibly grabbed me after our set, and said, “What the hell are you doing? You’re gonna kill yourself, and it’s not helping anyone.” It was a lesson I had to learn the hard way, and it took me years. 

Here’s my advice:

Make taking care of your mental and emotional health a priority whether you’re touring or not. Reminds of the quote by Bruce Lee, “I’d rather be a warrior in a garden, than a Gardner in a war.” I’d suggest meditation, yoga, eating right, exercise, being sober(especially on the road), finding a therapist, and making sure you have an attitude of gratitude, and have the right perspective. There will be hard days no matter what your job is, and just remember every single day how much of a blessing and miracle it is that you are a musician on the road.  It doesn’t matter whether your crowds are 3 or 3,000 people. For years, I have been pre-buying my food for tours so I can ensure I’m eating healthy on the road. It’s also much, much cheaper.  Also if you need to stop, stop, because no amount of followers, fame, or success is worth your mental health and well being. 

You have toured with a wide variety of musicians over the past years and have played at some major festivals. Tell us some words of wisdom that you collected along the way. 

Treat people well.  I mean everyone. You’d be horrified to know how many of your favorite bands treat their members and crew like disposable pieces to a financial puzzle instead of real humans. Some of the stories are shocking and heartbreaking. People don’t want to help you if you’re a dick, and its marvelous how much the world will open up to you if you’re kind. I just ask you, “What kind of legacy do you want to build? What do you want people to say about you?” How about you make every show, every night the best experience for everyone involved; fans, promoters, bands, local hands? My dream is to build an empire on kindness and treating people well, curating an environment that is healthy and nourishing where everyone wins.

Last but certainly not least, any closing messages for your fans?

I deeply and truly love and care about my fans as people. I want to make them happy, to see them win, I want to give them the best experience possible, and want you to know I’m on your side, on your team, and I support you.

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Interviews

Interview: Mae

Virginia Rockers, Mae, have consistently stretched beyond boundaries to experiment with sound while infusing their artistry with frequencies to obtain special musical components that provoke and support healing responses from the mind and body. I caught up with Lead Vocalist, Dave Elkins, to discuss the dynamic creative approach taken for ‘Multisensory Aesthetic Experience’, the importance of remaining present, creative freedom working with Tooth & Nail Records, being mindful of breathwork, meditation, remaining in tune while on the road and more.  

Congrats on the recent release of ‘Multisensory Aesthetic Experience’. Tell us about the creative and recording process of your fifth album and what you learned along the way.

It took a lot longer than I think we expected it to take. I made the record at my studio right outside of Nashville. I started making the record in December of 2017 and the album came out in November of 2018. It took us about seven-eight months of 2018 and even a bit of time before that. It was certainly one educational process.

From my perception, it seems as though you guys approached ‘Multisensory Aesthetic Experience’ from a multidimensional artistic approach that encompassed far more than just the music. I have been listening since the days of ‘Destination: Beautiful’ and ‘The Everglow’, and it seems as though through this release, you created a sensory experience that subliminally showcases the maturation of your artistry. You are stretching into the fields of science, neuroscience, the incorporation of mindfulness, sensory balance, resonation and more.

Wow, I really appreciate you saying that. Back when we made ‘Destination: Beautiful’, we were just kids in the studio with an opportunity to experiment. It was our Bass player’s studio at that time. Therefore, any idea that we had whether that be sonically, lyrically and emotionally, we tried to execute. We wanted to try to convey something and we were willing to take that time to find that place of sonic expression. Ironically, in my studio around 15 years later and now, that is the exact approach that we took to make ‘Multisensory Aesthetic Experience’. We were able to spend time learning so that the sounds that we were hearing in our heads and the ideas that we wanted to approach with our minds were available for at least try.

Oh yeah. How refreshing it must have been to not have the potential pressure of a record label deadline for the album. As of recently, bands and musicians have been pushing out content on a steady six-month per release basis which I perceive stifles the natural creative release.

Yeah. We released ‘Multisensory Aesthetic Experience’ with Tooth & Nail Records which is the record label that we had our earlier records out on. They have always been so encouraging and enabling. We are told that we are going to go make a record and it is a joy to be able to go make exactly the album that we want to make. That is how we approached this latest release which always ends up being a good situational experience. You don’t feel any pressure, all you see and feel is opportunity.

Yeah, and that is where your core thoughts and feelings spill forward from you and through you without thought. No career path or amount of followers negates the fact that you are a human being that has feelings. Tell us about some parts of you beyond being a musician that you take pride in.

I was 20-years-old when our first album came out and I am 37-years-old now. A lot of changes have happened in my personal life which will now be a part of my artistry moving forward. Moving to the studio was a huge accomplishment for me. I was just bouncing around at other studios and working with other Producers while learning to become a Producer myself over the years, and I finally have my own space where we can just create. We made the most recent record at my studio as well. It is nice to see other artists come in and take their time to make music and feel invited to my studio and space too.

I bet, as you have created your own intimate atmosphere that mimics you. You guys have been going since 2003. How do you proactively take care of your mental and emotional health when you’re out on the road?

That’s a wonderful question. Breathing.

Yes, actual breathwork. You’d be surprised; I have learned through experience and conversation that majority of individuals are indeed not in tune and/or knowledgeable of their ability to reach states of euphoria and tame the body and mind through their own breath.

It’s so important to slow down. It is so important to breathe. It is so important to meditate, to contemplate. And to do so with a postere of gratitude. There is so much going on to deal with and struggle with and have upon that can bring upon anxiety, doubt and even hopelessness. Those are all real things that don’t go away.

We all subconsciously collect excess stimulus without even knowing it.

That is exactly right. On our new album we have a song that closes out the record by the name of “Flow” which is an example of a particularly meditative and contemplative piece. It was very intentional for both ourselves and our own creativity and for all of our listeners. We really wanted to give traditional Mae songs and lyrics to sing along to and think deeply about, yet we wanted to create some instrumental songs while experimenting sonically to lead others and ourselves toward reaching a meditative and contemplative space.

Did you pay attention to and/or tune the hertz and frequency of the music while creating it?

Yeah, we did. We took an emotional approach. We took a mathematical approach. We just really made share that when we were putting these sonic and esoteric ideas together that we were hitting our sweet spot which invites as many people in to get contemplative, to meditate along with us.

Powerful. How do you proactively tend to yourself on the road?

Right now, I feel that it is important to be present. Touring is something that I have been a part of ever since I was 19-years old. At one point, I was just excited to be on the road. And then there was another point where I was wrapped up in the industry, statistical side of success and asking questions. I was always asking how many tickets that we had sold, what were the numbers at the merch table, etc. I found that to be really distracting in hindsight. It is really important to be present. The moments while on stage connecting with our friends in the crowd mean the world to us. As I mentioned, I am 37-years-old now and I started touring when I was 19-years-old; to still be able to do this is great. It is more so about meeting people at shows now and meeting as many people as I possibly can. They are escaping from their day-to-day lives to listen to our music and sing these songs back to us. There are so many people at shows that share their stories with us and share how our music has complimented and inspired their life experience. It is really important to be present to all of that. Those are the moments that will stay as imprints on my brain over the years to come.

Indeed. As a touring musician, you are constantly out on touring cycle collecting and then taking the time to reflect when you get off of the road and artistically refresh yourself through the recollection of your experience.

Absolutely. We are in the middle of tour right now. We just played Sacramento last night. Being on the West Coast is wonderful in January. The weather has been great. A lot of touring musicians do not tour in January because they are playing their music in parts of the states where it wouldn’t be very wise to tour in January. We planned this out and are really happy to be around 50 and 60 degree weather every day and a lot of sunshine. As I mentioned, it is all about meeting people on this tour and the music is all about self-expression for me.

Last but certainly not least, any closing messages for your fans?!

I am really proud of the album that we made. It does hit on many levels. The multisensory aspects of it are incredible. We have sight in the form of virtual reality content that accommodates each song on the new album that includes a VR viewfinder. The artwork for the album was created by a good friend of ours who is a wonderful painter and artist who has synesthesia, therefore, when she is listening to music, she is seeing colors and imagery in her mind. As we were making ‘Multisensory Aesthetic Experience’, we kept sending her the music throughout the process and the album cover is actually her interpretation of the 11 songs on canvas. We have all of these other options to create multisensory experiences for listeners and I really hope that people start to get into that because we are starting to include that in our live performances as well. Every night on stage, we play one song where if you do have that option (which you can buy at our shows!) you can bring it to the show and it really enhances the experience. Thank you so much for all of your support. 

Mae Social Links:

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