Toronto Musician, Nikki Jumper, has channeled her glimpse into the quarantine darkness into an opportunity to express herself through her artistry in her most candid way yet. In celebration of the release of “Apocalypse Love”, I caught up with Nikki for a great chat about the meaning behind the track, holistic health, finding confidence in oneself again, dreams of video chatting with Grimes and more.

Congrats on the recent release of your new single, “Apocalypse Love”. Tell us the message that you intended to portray throughout this release.
Thank you so much! You know, we wrote this song last summer – before this “Apocalypse” started to happen with the virus and quarantine. We went down a spiral of “what if the Apocalypse happens?” and created a little bit of a dystopian fantasy about what it would feel like to be in the Apocalypse. Even though it’s pretty dark, and we sing about things like an A.I take-over…. it’s truly a love song. It’s about finding the love and strength in yourself and those around you, even in the chaos. It’s about us vs. them, and the capability we have to fight – together.
I know that the Coronavirus has been really impactful on all, yet tell us the lowdown on how you have been utilizing all of your time in quarantine.
Quarantine has been really eye opening. I’ve been able to really dig deep into what I want to create both now and when this is all over. I’ve been feeling all of the emotions – restless, sad, angry, isolated, lonely, optimistic, happy, excited, creative, and burnt-out. Feeling all of these emotions and diving into the shadow has been really helpful for me to see the light of it all. I’ve been asking myself a lot of questions. Why do I feel this way? Why am I sad? What am I excited about? What do I really want? How can I make the most out of this time? How can I turn this turmoil into gold? What gifts will come out of this suffering? How can I make my life better when this is over? So, what I’ve been doing is using these emotions as fuel for new music, to write new songs, to dive deeper into how I feel and to be able to tap into the parts of myself I’ve been suppressing while being “busy” in normal life. It’s not easy – it’s definitely easier to numb out than to face these feelings. But I really have been enjoying this reflective time to both create new, more authentic music and to also make plans for the future that will be more exciting than before!
Showcasing the human in you, what is a challenging thought that you recently had and were able to overcome over time?
I definitely had a lot of fear and anxiety around my music and my body image. I was super worried I wasn’t good enough, and wasn’t fit enough. I had lost my confidence in myself the moment I began to listen to the opinions of others. Producers telling me that I can’t sing, I’m too fat, too old (in my early twenties!), I won’t “make it”, etc. It was a really traumatizing experience to have my dreams stripped away by people who were supposed to be helping me. I stopped singing and writing and I became super depressed. I was listening to all of the outside voices telling me I would fail. It was honestly the worst feeling in the world, to lose my power like that. Francesco saw how upset I was, how hurt I was, and how badly I wanted to be creative again. So he built me a music studio in my house. I started writing and recording again and working with my vocal coaches. I started to love and accept myself a little more every day. I decided I wouldn’t listen to anyone’s opinions and I became a ruthless curator of my thoughts, feelings, and emotions. I decided to simply do what I love, make music for the sake of it, and not let anyone tell me what I could or couldn’t do. I got my power back. And it’s a choice I make every day. I’m not a victim. Now, I’m feeling much more confident in myself.

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